12:07: decent, eating sandwich. productivity is at a higher then normal level, getting things done. yesterday was a day of slight spaceyness and sadness. wanting to challenge myself-go somewhere new, travel, explore. learn a new language, experience a different societal system and culture. not only that but pursing a higher level of degree of knowledge; whether that be through more education in school or skill learning through internship/volunteer.
I feel desperate at this point. how do I reach out? who do I reach out? I yearn for someone to help guide me, I am in more in the follower then leader spectrum. which website do I research? do I pay money to someone to help me? even that I feel I can't do much in.
I want to earn more money, not really for materialistic reasons but I want to for my family. I want to not have to rely on help to pay for minimal things. I want to help take care of others. I don't want to fear of being in greater debt then I am for school. I don't to be in the negatives in my account.
I had a dream last night, a short one between waking hours. I dreamed of money stresses, relationships and oddly food/cleanliness. 12:15 pm